Overanalyzing Divergent: We Need to Talk About Allegiant

I love dystopian teen novels.

Yes. Oh, yes. 

The rest of the world is getting sick of the dystopian fantasy genre by now, but I still wake up every morning eager to read about teen angst, forced caste systems and cartoonishly sinister governments, mostly because I live in a mayonnaise-white suburb with no post-apocalyptic biker gangs to speak of, and the only corrupt authority figures are the officials down at city hall who make us pay by the bag for garbage pickup. The crumbling ruins of a once-great city are a welcome escape. So when I heard about the Divergent trilogy, I disregarded the mixed reviews I'd heard and went out to get my hands on a copy of the books.

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So There's This Man Named John...

So there's this man named John, and he runs the only flower shop in his town. All the people in town go to John's flower shop for everything; they turn to him for all their weddings, funerals, engagement parties, birthdays, apologies, Valentine's days, anniversaries and proms. His shop has flourished since the day it opened, and he's managed to make a comfortable living for himself.

Then one day, that all changes. Brother Anthony, a local man of the cloth, opens his own flower store to earn a little extra money for a new belfry. Of course, all the local churchgoing people feel obligated to shop at Brother Anthony's flower shop instead of John's, and sure enough, John's sales start to decline. Pretty soon, things start to look grim for John; his business is losing money, and he knows that if things don't change soon, he won't have enough money to pay his bills and keep the flower shop open.

So John tries desperately to turn things around. He lowers his prices, but a few days later, he gets word that Brother Anthony has dropped his own prices to match him. He gets in new, exotic stock, but of course, Brother Anthony does the exact same thing. Finally, John walks down to the rival flower shop and begs Brother Anthony to close his doors before John is ruined. The Brother sympathizes, but he isn't willing to budge until the belfry is paid for. 

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Overanalyzing Game of Thrones: Why I'm Not Celebrating the Purple Wedding

A few weeks ago, something happened on Game of Thrones.

Even if you haven't seen it, you know somebody died.

Since people who freely post Game of Thrones spoilers deserve to languish in the lower circles of hell normally reserved for those people who post Facebook updates about their bowel movements and scream at innocent cashiers to feel alive, I'm giving you fair warning. If you haven't seen Game of Thrones season 4, eipsode 2, there be spoilers ahead.

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5 Reasons Why Dragon Age: Origins is Still the Best Fantasy Game of All Time

I play a lot of video games. Seriously. It hinges on a pathological condition at this point. But in all the time I've spent glued to a keyboard or console, I've yet to find a video game that can hold a candle to Bioware's Dragon Age: Origins.

Spoilers ahead. Although seriously, people, it came out in 2009.

Unfair bias of living near Bioware's Edmonton headquarters aside, I've never found a game that can match Dragon Age: Origins, not in the entire five years since its release. Don't go thinking I'm some hopeless fangirl with life-sized effigies of Morrigan resting on my Bioware shrine, either; there are five very good reasons why this is still the best fantasy game you'll ever play.

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Overanalyzing Oculus: How to Survive a Haunted Mirror

I recently went to see the new "haunted mirrors killed my family" horror film, Oculus.

If you care about the outcome of mediocre horror movies, turn back now.

Now, let's get something straight here. I don't go into horror movies expecting to be blown away by their rich plots and subtle character development. I'm really just in it to watch unknown blonde actresses get startled by no-budget ghosts with hastily shat-out flimsy backstories. If I can make it to the end of the movie with at least a general idea of what's going on and why everyone is dead, I'm pretty much content. 

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