So There's This Man Named John...

So there's this man named John, and he runs the only flower shop in his town. All the people in town go to John's flower shop for everything; they turn to him for all their weddings, funerals, engagement parties, birthdays, apologies, Valentine's days, anniversaries and proms. His shop has flourished since the day it opened, and he's managed to make a comfortable living for himself.

Then one day, that all changes. Brother Anthony, a local man of the cloth, opens his own flower store to earn a little extra money for a new belfry. Of course, all the local churchgoing people feel obligated to shop at Brother Anthony's flower shop instead of John's, and sure enough, John's sales start to decline. Pretty soon, things start to look grim for John; his business is losing money, and he knows that if things don't change soon, he won't have enough money to pay his bills and keep the flower shop open.

So John tries desperately to turn things around. He lowers his prices, but a few days later, he gets word that Brother Anthony has dropped his own prices to match him. He gets in new, exotic stock, but of course, Brother Anthony does the exact same thing. Finally, John walks down to the rival flower shop and begs Brother Anthony to close his doors before John is ruined. The Brother sympathizes, but he isn't willing to budge until the belfry is paid for. 

John is desperate. As a list-ditch effort, he turns to his brother, Hugh, for help. Now, Hugh has something of a reputation around town. He's a thug with a long criminal record and a very short temper, and he owes John a favor. So he marches into Brother Anthony's flower shop to "persuade" him to give up his career as a florist. Hugh roughs up the Brother and trashes the shop. Sure enough, Brother Anthony is so scared, he closes up shop that very day. 

The moral of the story?

Only Hugh can prevent florist friars. 

Fuck you, this friar thinks it's funny.

I'm too busy to write a decent post this week, but I will be back! I promise!